how to win someone over: by shakira

hispanic parents have a sixth sense

spoken-not-written:

heyfunniest:

When someone tickles my neck.. 

I CAN RELATE TO A FUCKING PLASTIC BOTTLE I HATE THIS WEBSITE

spoken-not-written:

heyfunniest:

When someone tickles my neck.. 

I CAN RELATE TO A FUCKING PLASTIC BOTTLE I HATE THIS WEBSITE

This is probably going to get quoted in every publication just because I said it. And I’m not even saying anything. I’m not talking about my films, I’m not talking about my life, and I’m not talking about the world. And yet, the media will print it simply because I said it. And at this moment in time, I bet there is an artist around the corner of this hotel, on the street, with a mind far beyond ours, but we will never listen to him simply because he has not appeared in a movie. And that is what is fucked up about our culture.

suddenlyfalling:

trustyourdoctah:

Benedict Cumberbatch and his profound knowledge of the Ikea catalogue

I love that he’s getting this right not because he’s a Star Trek geek but because he loves Ikea.

loldork:

Depressing thought: in a 100 years almost everyone that’s alive now will be dead and the world will be inhabited by 10 billion or so completely new people.

You two are so adorable.

iwishihadafather:

thatcarlymay:

iwishihadafather:

"It’s a metaphor," the terrorist tells the FBI, "You put the bomb in the building but don’t blow it up."

Of all the shitty metaphor jokes, this is the shittiest.

"It’s a metaphor," I said to the annoying white girl, "I act like I care about your opinion but I actually don’t."

cutejewishgirl:

i can’t wait for my grandchildren to wish they lived in the era of beyoncé